Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Christian Path to Restoration
Narcissistic abuse is one of the most invisible yet destructive forms of oppression. It doesn't always leave bruises on the body but it deeply wounds the soul, crushes confidence, and leaves many walking through life spiritually fragmented and emotionally lost.
It can come from a spouse, a parent, a spiritual leader, a sibling, or someone you trusted with your heart. Narcissists often enter our lives through manipulation disguised as love, guidance, or protection. But underneath, there’s a darker truth narcissism isn’t just a personality issue. It is a spiritual problem.
Many people who are spiritually chosen or called often find themselves surrounded by narcissists—sometimes from birth. It’s not uncommon for them to be born into families with narcissistic parents. This early exposure is often the enemy’s tactic to begin shaping them through fear, confusion, and trauma. These unhealed wounds can leave them vulnerable to deeper spiritual attacks and manipulation later in life.
Speaking from my own experience as someone raised by a narcissistic parent, I now realize how deeply these roots go. As a child, I regularly suffered from sleep paralysis, and the entities I encountered during those episodes were overwhelmingly dark and oppressive. I also had frequent demonic dreams. Looking back, I understand now that the entities I encountered often reflected the frequency and vibration present in my household emanating from the individuals around me. Their presence mirrored the spiritual atmosphere I was immersed in daily. It was a cycle designed to condition me into fear from a young age, making me more susceptible to spiritual manipulation and less aware of my authority through Christ.
Throughout my life, this pattern continued. I now recognize that many so-called friends and partners also exhibited controlling and manipulative behavior. Some friends tried to isolate me by dictating who I could or couldn’t talk to. Some romantic partners used tactics of sabotage and subtle manipulation. A common trait among them all was projection they would accuse me of things they were actually guilty of themselves.
One thing that still chills me to this day was a phrase repeated often by one of the narcissists in my life: “I know you don’t love me. I’m not the enemy.” No one had even suggested such a thing, which made it clear they were revealing their own hidden truth. Narcissists will gaslight, flatter, and then strike. Every time you elevate, succeed, or walk more confidently in your calling, it unsettles them. Pay attention: the mask always slips.
The Spiritual Reality of Narcissism
Narcissism stems from a deep internal void masked by a carefully constructed false self that thrives on admiration, control, and dominance. These individuals often lack true empathy, leading to patterns of emotional abuse, manipulation, and exploitation. Common tactics include love bombing (showering you with attention to create emotional dependency), gaslighting (causing you to doubt your own reality), triangulation (using others to create jealousy or confusion), and projection (blaming you for the very behaviors they are guilty of). Victims of narcissistic abuse may begin to lose their sense of identity, intuition, and spiritual grounding over time.
From a spiritual lens, narcissists are often operating under demonic influence most notably the Jezebel spirit and Leviathan spirit, which seeks power, worship, and control through deceit. These spirits work to confuse your identity, and interfere with your God-given purpose. Leviathan distorts words, intentions, and conversations leading to confusion and misunderstanding. It’s often at work when two people say one thing but hear something completely different. Leviathan manipulates communication to create offense, strife, and broken relationships. These spirits are not attracted to just anyone they are drawn specifically to people who carry light, purpose, and a divine calling. They are not simply “damaged people” they are vessels being used by darkness to destroy light. Why? Because they seek to drain that light, siphon your energy, and destroy you. Chosen ones, empaths, and spiritually aware individuals are prime targets because their very high vibrating presence threatens to expose darkness. A narcissist will mirror your light at first, making you believe you are safe or even cherished—only to later sabotage, slander, and spiritually deplete you once they’ve fed off your energy. Their aim is not merely emotional damage, but spiritual oppression and fragmentation.
Jesus said, “You will know them by their fruits.” (Matthew 7:16). The fruit of narcissism is manipulation, lying, division, gaslighting, control, and destruction. When someone consistently bears this fruit without repentance, they are no longer just wounding you they are operating in witchcraft, which is rebellion against God (1 Samuel 15:23).
Signs You May Have Been in a Narcissistic Relationship
Whether it was a spouse, a parent, a pastor, or a “friend,” here are some signs you were likely subjected to narcissistic abuse:
You constantly walked on eggshells, afraid to trigger rage or punishment
Your voice, feelings, and experiences were minimized, mocked, or ignored
You were love-bombed, then suddenly devalued and discarded
You were blamed for their sin, failures, and emotional instability
You felt crazy or confused even though you knew something was wrong
You were isolated from others or made to feel that only they “understood” you
You experienced spiritual manipulation, Scripture twisted to control you
You began to lose your identity, clarity, and confidence
You started questioning your discernment and even your connection with God
Dealing with a narcissistic parent can be incredibly challenging, especially when there is triangulation with siblings, which can complicate matters further. One of the most effective strategies is to create space between you and their toxic influence when possible. Limiting conversations to the bare minimum sticking to the facts and avoiding unnecessary explanations helps you maintain control of the situation. This approach not only prevents you from getting caught in endless tangents and circular conversations, but it also minimizes the opportunity for them to twist your words. By keeping conversations factual and brief, you also reduce the chances of them manipulating your statements or lying about what was said.
An example from my experience with a narcissistic parent, any time I did something positive, creative, or admirable—even if I came up with it on my own it was somehow spun to reflect positively on them. If I had a good idea or succeeded in something, the narrative became, “Well, you learned that from me,” or “You get that from me.” It didn’t matter how independently the action was taken; all praise or credit was redirected back to them.
Even when others showed me kindness or affection like extended family members the narcissistic parent would diminish the interaction by suggesting, “They only care about you because you’re my child.” In this way, my identity and achievements were always attached to theirs, never standing on their own.
This is a classic narcissistic tactic known as credit hijacking or self-aggrandizement. Narcissistic parents often blur the line between their child’s accomplishments and their own self-image. They need constant validation and may view their child not as a separate individual, but as an extension of themselves. So anything good that comes from the child is interpreted as a reflection of their own greatness, not the child’s independence.
It’s also a form of emotional control. By making all positive outcomes trace back to them, they subtly train the child to seek their approval and never fully own their own strengths. Over time, this can stunt self-confidence and autonomy, which is exactly what narcissistic individuals want—dependence, not independence.
For teens, this dynamic often feels like walking on eggshells, as it can be hard not to take personal criticisms or comments to heart from a parent. One important practice is to avoid sharing your personal desires or goals with a narcissistic parent, as they are likely to use that information against you. They may even use trivial things to manipulate you if you express that you enjoy something, they might use it against you, such as buying you something you’ve expressed a dislike for, simply to trigger a response or control the situation. An example of how small manipulations can affect you: if you share that you love ice cream, the narcissistic parent might later buy it for a sibling and not for you, or intentionally buy a flavor you dislike just to provoke you. So next time, you might say you hate it just to avoid being targeted. These little games create emotional confusion and a sense of instability around expressing your true self, which over time leads to shrinking your authentic voice. It’s best to keep certain things to yourself, and learn not to take their comments personally. By maintaining emotional distance and boundaries, you protect your peace and prevent them from having any power over your personal feelings or goals. Narcissists are also notorious for lying. You should never assume what they say is the full truth especially when they bring in other people’s names. If they say, “Susie said you’re lazy,” calmly respond, “Thank you for sharing. I’ll speak to Susie directly to hear what she meant in her own words.” This shows that you are grounded, not reactive, and not easily manipulated. When possible, document conversations, save texts, emails, or anything they frequently twist having receipts protects your sanity and brings clarity in moments of doubt.
Trauma bonding happens when abuse is mixed with intermittent moments of kindness or attention, creating confusion and an emotional dependency. As a result, even as adults, many continue to confide in or seek validation from parents who have repeatedly shown that they are not genuinely interested in their child's well-being or elevation especially if that elevation would surpass their own. Unfortunately, many teens trauma bond with narcissistic parents, and this deeply rooted psychological and spiritual bond often continues well into adulthood.
It’s common for adults to still share intimate dreams, plans, or struggles with parents who have demonstrated envy, sabotage, or emotional coldness. Even when the parent has a track record of dismissing their feelings, belittling their goals, or trying to control them through manipulation, guilt, or shame, the inner child within that adult still craves approval and love. But this is where deep spiritual discernment is crucial.
When you are born, your first bond is usually with your caregiver. You naturally believe that their behaviors whether nurturing or toxic are just a part of who they are. You assume their character is “just them,” and you adapt and doing so die in your identity.
Adult Narcissistic Relationships
When it comes to romantic relationships or close friendships with a narcissist, the dynamic can be just as spiritually and psychologically damaging as with a parent though as an adult, you technically have more agency to walk away. However, that doesn't always mean it's easy, especially if you're living with the person or have shared responsibilities like children or finances.
If you're living with a narcissistic partner, it’s crucial to prepare wisely before ending the relationship. Never announce your decision prematurely. Narcissists often react with unpredictable rage when they feel their control is slipping. In extreme cases, their eyes may seem to darken with a chilling emptiness, consumed by the demonic energy of wrath and loss of power. This is not just a metaphor it's spiritual reality manifesting through their behavior.
So if you're planning to leave:
Make arrangements in secret secure a safe place to go, ideally where they won’t find you easily.
Have your documents ready (ID, passports, birth certificates, etc.).
Make financial preparations: open a separate bank account if possible, stash emergency cash.
Organize care and legal arrangements for your children ahead of time.
Keep evidence of abuse, manipulation, or control texts, emails, voicemails.
Let a trusted person know your plan, and if needed, seek support from a shelter or legal advisor.
Leaving a narcissist is not about cowardice it’s about wisdom and survival. Many narcissists use threats, guilt, and spiritual manipulation to make you doubt your ability to live without them. But the truth is: once you reclaim your space, clarity returns. Your energy rises. Your spiritual alignment restores.
When it comes to friendships with narcissists, the best course of action is often to go cold turkey. That means cutting them off completely without long explanations, drawn-out goodbyes, or efforts to get closure. Why? Because narcissists don’t respond to honesty with understanding. They twist your words, misinterpret your intentions, and expertly flip the narrative to make you seem like the unstable or toxic one. It becomes a circular conversation designed to wear you down, not resolve anything.
You don't owe a narcissist an explanation for choosing peace. In fact, giving one only opens the door for manipulation. They will likely accuse you of being too sensitive, crazy, jealous, or even ungrateful. Expect slander. Expect them to play the victim. Expect triangulation where they try to turn mutual friends or even strangers against you.
This is spiritual warfare. The moment a narcissist senses they no longer have control over your emotions, a part of their false power crumbles and their demon-hosted ego cannot handle it. That is when they may lash out spiritually or socially. But remember, their rage is confirmation that you did the right thing.
Your silence is powerful. Your detachment is divine protection.
In matrix terms, Narcissists are designed to keep you stuck in loops.When you're entangled with them, you're not just navigating a toxic relationship you're engaging with a system designed to prevent soul evolution.
Healing Strategy
PRAY for Discernment
PRAY to Break Soul Ties and Emotional Attachments
PRAY for Emotional Healing
PRAY to Guard Speech and Response
PRAY for Release and Detachment
PRAY for Protection
Set Boundaries
Detach Emotionally
Don’t Take It Personally
Avoid Arguments
Seek Professional Help ( Be careful in whom you confide whether spiritual counselor or not)
Guard Your Heart and Mind
Release Control to God
Forgive, But Do Not Reconcile
